Dear Friend,
People have told me that I am the most forgiving and most patient person they know. I’m sure that’s true and absolutely true in the case of our friendship. We had some really good times and I felt like we understood each other on levels that most people just don’t understand. I still feel that way. We have a lot of the same values and in this world, it’s really hard to find someone with those things in common.
Unfortunately, I guess I felt like for the last year or two of our friendship, I was the only one that cared enough about it to actually FIGHT for it. Eventually it got to the point where you only spoke to me when you wanted to vent about the friends that you currently weren’t speaking to. I always thought on those long stretches of time when you were clearly giving me the silent treatment that there was no way you’d go and talk about ME behind my back. I was wrong. When I found out the truth, I was hurt. I had defended you on several occasions when you didn’t necessarily even deserve it. I put up with your bad attitude causing drama with our mutual friends and defended you to them too. I was out on the front lines fighting for you while you stood back and let everyone overtake me.
Now I come to realize that what’s done is done. I forgive you but I’m definitely not going to fight for a lost cause nor am I going to let it eat away at me. I don’t hold grudges but I can’t ignore the battle scars which will fade over time.
Recently someone told me that they like who I am now. I’m happier, more confident and more outspoken. They said I don’t hold back anymore because I’m not cautiously walking on those eggshells. They were right! I don’t have to worry about accidentally upsetting you by saying something that you’ll take the wrong way. I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner, I should have friends that value me enough to tell me when I’ve done something to upset them, not friends that will avoid the issue until those small cracks in our relationship eventually break apart and ruin the friendship. Relationships REQUIRE communication to survive. Nobody likes conflict or confrontation but without it you’ll never fix anything. It will just keep piling up until it becomes so huge you can’t ignore it anymore.
Take heed for the sake of your current and future relationships. I don’t want you to end up alone and unhappy but that’s where you’ll be if you treat everyone the way you treated me. You lost the best friend you ever had and you didn’t even fight to keep me.
Your Old Friend,
Angie
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